Melody in my Head

So I got some spare time to write. And so. I will write. I was listening to some songs the other day. Which I do too often because I feel cut off from the world. But anyway, I was listening, and a song came on that reminded me of someone. I actually have a playlist on my iPod called "Soundtrack of Life". It originally came from a myspace thing where you fill out what songs would make up on a soundtrack of your life. For example, "Breakup Song" or "Character Revelation Song". However, the playlist is made mostly of songs that I think were cool or fit my mood. I want to chat about the songs that actually remind me of people and places.

Song name, Band - memory

Buddy Holly, Weezer - this song perhaps symbolizes the theme song of freshman year. I don't know why I liked it so much. Every time I hear, it instantly calls up memories of chatting in Mike's room, walking slash dancing down the streets of heritage, random dancing in the middle of campus. I can even almost feel and smell Deseret Towers whenever I hear the song. haha. Love that song.

runner-up

2-0-5, Jibjab - Mike and I memorized this song. And sang it constantly. I think this song epitomizes the seriousness with which we took freshman year.

Where is the Love?, Black Eyed Peas - Amy Shah. The first time I ever heard this song was from her xanga. Hearing this song instantly takes me back to 10th grade.

Peaches and Cream, 112 - Amy Shah. even more of a reminder of her than Where is the Love?

Hey Ya, Outkast - for a spanish project, we translated this song into Spanish...and then performed. Also reminds me of PE junior year when the PE teacher said something about shaking it like a polaroid picture. That phrase was so common then.

The Last Thing on Your Mind, Lights - i don't listen to this song that much, because its the song that got me through winter semester 2009. So when I hear it, it reminds me of the crazy days.

Shawty Get Loose, Lil Mama - the first song I really learned for Club Style. So many memories attached to this one. I will remember the beginning of sophomore year, and the year after my mission with this song.

This is my Idea, Swan Princess - Lauren Gardner. lol

The Light, April Meservy - I started playing this song everytime after my companion and I put someone date to be baptized. Later, I got all my companions addicted. I remember, once, we went the whole day only listening to this song. Its been the one song that's been consistently there throughout my entire mission, so it embodies so many good memories. Now, usually I play it when I want to feel good, or right after I get a date with someone I'm interested in. haha.

Holy is the Lord, Chris Tomlin

Forward with Faith, Kim Bracken

When its Time we Arrive, artist unknown

- all these songs remind me of serving out in Price. Whenever I hear them it reminds me of road tripping it up to Vernal and watching the amazing greenery around us. I also usually play Holy is the Lord when I'm contemplating, or right after an exhausting basketball game. its a simple song, but in those moments I feel like I LOVE life, and I just talk to God. I just feel on top of the world, and closer to the spirit and to my mission. And we share inside jokes. haha.

- Forward with Faith reminds me of meadows, fresh grass, and breezy spring mornings.

Casanova, Lights - Jenny Young. i have NO idea why. it just does.

Toxic, Britney Spears

Ocean Avenue, Yellowcard

- high school freshman year memories. freshman year dances, assemblies, innocence, and fun

Werewolf

There's this game called werewolf. It is awesome. Its like mafia. But more fun because it adds additional roles into the game. We played the first round regularly, and kept adding more roles each round (and more and more people kept joining, so it kept getting crazier). The roles we added each round were the following:

Seer: the seer is like the sheriff in mafia and gets to pick one person while everyone is asleep to ask the narrator if that person is a wolf or not. The narrator will indicate yay or nay. The tricky part is for the Seer to play his part well to help the villagers guess the werewolf guess correctly without revealing himself (or the werewolves might target him/her next).

Little girl: Honestly, i hated this character. What the little girl gets to do is look while the werewolves are making their selections on who to kill. The little girl has to be sneaky about it, or else if the werewolves catch her they can kill her off instantly. The little girl is kinda like the seer in that she needs to help the villagers catch the wolves without revealing herself.

Witch: The witch is like the nurse in mafia except she has a heal potion and a death potion. She gets a turn where the narrator tells her who is going to be killed and she can choose to heal that person, do nothing, or kill someone else with her potion. She only has one potion though. The interesting part is, if the seer or little girl reveals themselves, the witch can then protect them for one round with the heal potion while they find the werewolves.

Captain: the captain is elected before the first round begins. This person is the vocal leader of the group, and gets 1.5 votes as a person to break ties. If the captain is killed, he/she elects a new captain (which makes it interesting when they don't know who the werewolf is).

Cupid: The cupid gets a turn in the first round (while everyone is asleep) to pick two people to be lovers (they can pick themselves if they want to). Then the cupid goes to sleep and the lovers open their eyes (the narrator makes it known who the lovers are). During the daytime, the lovers and cupid can reveal themselves if they want to. What happens with the lovers is that if one lover dies, the other lover dies with him/her (making for interesting combinations).

Hunter: The hunter gets to kill someone else (or not) when he/she dies. They can choose whomever.

Thief: the thief gets a turn in the first round where they can choose to steal another person's role/ability or an unused role. If he/she steals another person's role, than that person whose role is stolen gets the unused role.

So this made for some interesting games. In the first game, Mary and Rachel killed everyone (with me being the first person to be killed). I couldn't trust Mary after that.

There was another round where Owen was elected captain and was also the werewolf. I was cupid, and made Mary and Owen lovers. Well, what I didn't realize was that Mary was also a Seer(or Sheriff). We wanted Mary to use her ability and see if Owen was a werewolf, and in order to protect the seer's identity we told the seer to not say anything if Owen was innocent. Well...since Mary knew Owen was her lover, she protected him, unknowingly, also protecting the werewolf. In the end, the werewolves decided to kill Owen (Owen being a werewolf himself decided to do it), and took down Mary with her, leaving Jason as the werewolf winner. (They could have alternatively decided to kill Jason, leaving both Mary and Owen to be the winners).

Rebecca was werewolf like three times, and she played her parts well though it was hard for her to lie. But she was hard to read, and once I actually defended her when she was a werewolf since she was eliminated first or second in the first three rounds innocently. haha.

I was also accused a ton, but was innocent each time. The one time I was werewolf, I committed suicide and revealed myself to preserve my truth-telling reputation.

The game had so much argument, lying, and logic that it was actually really fun. One time, Steve was going to use his death potion on me because he was convinced I was a werewolf. Well, the werewolves attacked him that night and he had to use his health potion to save himself. Oddly enough, this convinced him that I was not the werewolf because he said a smart werewolf would have killed someone else and let him use his death potion on me killing two villagers in one night.

The best was probably the last round where the captain was also cupid and actually made him and his wife lovers. However, his wife was the thief, and used her ability to become a werewolf. We did not realize, and the captain himself did not realize, that there was a third werewolf until we killed the second werewolf and there was 5 people left. The captain, still convinced that his wife/lover was innocent, asked the seer to reveal Rachel if she was a werewolf. He had asked the Seer to reveal Mary the previous round. She was a werewolf, and that eliminated the second, and presumably, last werewolf. However, it got interesting, because the seer and captain both realized who the third werewolf was at the same time, and the captain, realizing he would die if the werewolf died, began using his voting powers to kill the other 3 innocent people. Rachel died that night, using her last potion the round before to save the Seer. The villagers than targeted me, but the Seer, knowing that I was the hunter, and that I would kill the captain if I had a choice, went along with the votes and killed me. I then shot the captain, who died, and whose lover, the werewolf, also died, leaving the Seer victorious.

Yeah, the game was intense at times. But I really really enjoyed it, mainly because for me I was able to deduce most of the time who the werewolves were or come close. And it was played by the right people, the right crowd. Loved it. lots of yelling, accusations, defending (I loved Owen's defense, "I hate little girls" or his reason for why he should be captain "I rock"), lots of brain power being generated, lots of complexities, the room just felt alive and pulsating with how much we genuinely were thinking about the game. Don't know how to explain, just the right crowd and, despite all the arguments, a pretty clean and no ill-will game, with fun personalities.

note for myself on what I want to write next:

-Which songs that remind me of people and places

-capitalism, workplace alienation, and World of Warcraft and how they are connected

So my trip up to Idaho was an eye opener and revelation. It was crazy, up and down, with drama, but ended happily enough. But it sparked some self-contemplation and wonderings of warnings from others.

First of all, my Californian friends are way more flirty than I remembered. Or its maybe cause I've been in Utah for so long. Mark and Jeff were Ok, but it was Alex and Dezzy that sparked the constant flirting more than anything else. haha. But it certainly made the road trip slightly more....interesting.

I ended up hanging out with mission friends for most of the time. We actually all ended up staying at different places, but I had fun. Watching the Laker game at Applebee's and being one of two people cheering for the Lakers (the other being a waitress, and the moment the Lakers won on a game-winning shot will be forever one of the kewlest memories I've shared with a stranger). The game itself was pretty crazy. Then watching the Lakers close it out with two of my mission buddies who were both rooting for the Suns...even more fun and memorable times. Got to see a bunch of missionaries, party a bit with them, and went to a single's ward with them. Fun times.

I did not know that there were personal agendas with my Californian friends about why they went to Idaho. I mean, that would make sense, they HATE utah, why would they ever go up to Idaho? Misunderstanding, hurt feelings, and an overall unstructured and unorganized road trip pretty much felt like it doomed the trip as the days went on. By the middle I was wondering if the reason anyone was doing anything was for an ulterior motive.

It was disappointing to see that, as immature and child-like as I am, I had, in a way, matured more than they did in the two years since I've been home since the mission. It was really interesting to see Dezzy become interested and entangled in boy trouble, a completely different Dezzy than the one I knew two years ago, making feel like the student had finally surpassed the teacher. The one thing I'm most amused about is that she continues to be more of a fan than a friend. However, when all the craziness settled, and as we were at Jack-in-the-Box the friend side of her finally revealed itself.

Overall, after all the frustration that I had felt coming off the trip, I finally understand the line "cuz I don't need your mess, I'll be the one to keep you, one disaster less" from Lights. Though their drama certainly is entertaining, and crazy at times, I will always be their friend, because sometimes, who else will be? haha.

Date-nomics Part 2

the following is to whom it may concern. It contains a lot of numbers. You have been warned.

For everyone at BYU, there is one thing that is joked about and talked about more than anything else (save the Gospel and Church). Sadly, it is not what we can do to rid ourselves of today's social problems. It is not starcraft. It is not sports. And no, it is not zombies (but you were thinking it weren't you? Yes. you were). Its marriage and dating.

I read through a word document I had written down a awhile ago (because really, I have nothing else to do with my life besides listening to Lights). January 26th, 2009 to be precise. The previous day in church our high councilor had made a very interesting remark. It went like this, "20% of the girls at BYU get 90% of the dates on campus". Surprising? Possibly, but from everyone I've talked to, its actually believable. I approached my sociology teachers about this, and one of them said she'd round up some numbers to see if this accurate. I'm not sure how much sociologists would know about this stuff, but hey, they deal with people and numbers right?

But before we jump to conclusions we shall apply what we've learned in statistics (oh how I love thee) to real life because after all, what else is statistics good for? If there's one thing we all should have learned in statistics, its this: statistics can lie. And in this case, they are, at the least, deceiving. I should have asked the high councilor where he got his information, but I didn't. sorry.

First, there are about 33,000 students on campus (32,995 to be exact according to this). We'll just assume for now that half is female and half is male. Making, 16,500 males and 16500 females. The numbers straight up mean that 3300 girls are garnering 90% of the dates. Do you see a potential follow-up question here? It might go something like this, "well...how many dates are actually going around?" Assuming EVERY guy is going on one date a month, it would mean, 3300 girls are receiving 14,850 dates a month out of a possible 16,500 dates. That's 4.5 dates a month per girl. If every guy is going out three times a month, the number jumps to 44,550 dates and 13.5 dates per girl in the 20% category. And from what I know, there are girls receiving that many per month.

Of course, there's a flaw there. I mean, its blindingly obvious. Not every boy goes on one date per month, much less three. The statistic given us could be vastly misleading. Consider this what if only 20% of guys are actually going on dates (we'll assume once a month to for simplicity sake)? That means there are only 3300 dates per month, and 20% of the girls on campus are receiving 2970 dates. The other 330 dates are being divided between the other 13,200 girls on campus. See how one statistic can reveal different things?

One last thing with the numbers. There are more married men on campus than married women. So even though there are more guys than girls, there is an uneven percentage of single girls to single guys.

So what does this all mean? Well....first. Whatever the actual numbers are, it is still horribly skewed toward those 3300 females on campus. That means, either guys need to do better in asking a larger variety of girls or more guys need to go on dates. If every guy went on three dates a month with a different girl, every girl on campus could go on one a date month. EVERY girl. I can say that I've done a better job with that. I've dated the girls who haven't been asked as much as well as the girls that go on dozens of dates (even though it feels like the girls who go on a lot of dates actually seem to enjoy it more, but that's another story).

But here's a bonus. I have some actual hard facts. Haha, yes of course. you didn't think I'd just spout off numbers without some hardcore evidence did you? My class and I have actually collected some data together. Out of 91 males surveyed, 21 say they either don't date or have gone on an average of 0 dates a month. That's about 23%. But the rest on average are in the 1-6 dates a month range (39 in 1-3 dates/month, and 20 in the 4-6 range). So what does it look like for the girls? Well, the data there is a little incomplete because we had a lot more girls who didn't answer that question and there are actually a lot more girls surveyed, but even comparably we see slight differences. For example... 31% of the first 91 girls surveyed either didn't date or had zero dates on average. Is it statistically significant? Do i have enough knowledge to run a test that will prove so? How did the dinosaurs die? The answers to those three questions are all the same. I don't now. I can say though that the girls' graph seems way more varied than the guys' graph (which looks more like a normal distribution).

So does the statistics hold up? Not really. As far as I was able to tell, its more like 19% of the girls at BYU get 67% of the possible dates on campus. Which is actually still very skewed. but those are very rough numbers. Still, bottom line, if we were to take anything from this, its that its still very skewed. So...there ya go.

Anyway. I think I want to stop doing numbers now. I hope that provided some sort of information, or entertainment, for now.

I Want to Punch Her in the Face

I've been influenced greatly by many different people in my life. I think I was a pretty impressionable youngster growing up kinda just absorbing whatever person the world threw my way like a drop of water absorbing other droplets (yes...weird comparison there...). Now that I have more of a mind of my own I'm more prone to pick and choose. But I read a few of my stuff that I've written over the past year and its been interesting to see where some of my habits and things come from.

I remember writing (but can't find it now) a paper titled "Because of a Girl" that chronicled major events that helped shape my life that happened because of a girl. For example (and this is the best from memory that I can put it...but after all it is my memory so its more or less the same as what I originally wrote):

Because of a girl, I was born into this world.

Because of two girls, I am a better older brother.

Because of a girl, I decided to go ahead and transfer into a college prep school.

Because of a girl, I gained a love for service.

Because of a girl, I felt welcome at BYU.

Because of a girl, I had my heart broken and met my best friend Mike (and I would add here also, Luke Davidson).

partly because of no girls, I went on my mission.

...and on and one it went mostly just talking about really close friends that helped me make tough decisions or changed the outcome of my life.

Here's another one while we're at it.

I realized where I get the violent/affectionate phrase of "I want to punch her in the face" when I refer to people I actually care about. I got it from Dezzy. Reading back on some things tonight it was like a light came on in my head. Of course it was Dezzy. Consider the following:

Kelsey: He's going to go back to BYU in a few days.

Dezzy: WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me?

Me: I don't know...

Dezzy: Steven, I'm going to stuff this brownie into your face.

Affectionate right? Or...here's another one

Me: (i don't even know what I said)

Dezzy: Steven. I'm going to punch you in the face.

Sweet.

I have a word document entitled "Things I Learned from People". Its now a practice of mine that after every date I evaluate the good in the other person and try to live it in my own life. I also pick up things I see other people do and try to do it if I can think it is good. In some situation I might actually pause and think "how might this person approach this?" For example.

*finds a sword at Wal-Mart*

Me: Now...what might Luke do with this sword? And what would Mike do with it?

Because what Luke would do with it is completely different than what Mike would do it with it. But practicality included, some of the things listed on that document next to people's names include

"how to be a gentlemen"

"how to work hard"

"how to be patient and humble"

"how to be more studious"

"how to talk/communicate to people"

However, as is always in life, I absorb the good and the bad sometimes. My current pet peeve right now (and I'll write more next time) is:

Girls who don't talk to you/be your friend anymore because you aren't romantically interested in them. OR. Girls who only use you when they want attention.

It annoys me so much. More the former than the latter. I hang out, study, eat, go on dates, and help stuff with you and you ditch me because I'm not interested? Not Cool. Thanks a lot. Then they just get upset, and...anyway. Its understandable because I find myself doing it too. i react to the way they're reacting to me.

I have found out that one reason I am sometimes flirty (in an outgoing way) is because some of the girls I hang out with are that way and that's what I've grown accustomed to. I learned from the best.

So the conclusion is...I am a sum of my experiences mixed with my own personality. Some people have had a greater influence than others, and often times, the people that I'm hanging out with currently have the greatest influence.

Well...I didn't even get around to what I actually wanted to write about (the dating statistic at BYU. how did i get here? i don't know).

Grade Jumps in Biology

I read an example of a job interview question on one of my friend's websites that asked something like this, "Can you give me an example of when you demonstrated integrity in your life?"

The first thing that came to my mind as I tried to answer this question was a flashback to cold chilly day in early November last year. Ok, I don't remember if it was cold or chilly, but that's how I imagined it (and yes, it was only a few months ago, so sue me. Actually, don't. anyway...). i was at Wal-Mart. I had a biology extra credit assignment that I badly needed. For some reason, biology was killing me that semester (actually, I think all my classes were taking turns beating me up like i was a pinata on cinco de mayo...which is how I think you celebrate cinco de mayo without getting drunk). In short, I needed it because I was hovering in C range and anything the teacher was giving me was a mercy shot.

The extra credit assignment required me to draw several examples of tRNA coding, translation, and transcription (I remember this stuff? wow) and then explain it to seven people and get their signatures. I admittedly was late in starting it and the assignment was due that Monday at midnight. So...when do I usually go to Wal-Mart? On Mondays. Before midnight.

Well, by the time I was making my Wal-Mart run I had hurriedly compiled six signatures but couldn't come up with anymore people (because honestly, that's the number of friends I have). Anyway, one of my friends was encouraging me to just force the seventh one and she actually did it for me. Her argument was convincing. I needed it. No one would ever know. Besides, I had actually put in the work for it. And it was just such a little extra credit assignment. Its not that big of a deal. If I didn't do it, I would be an idiot, or at worst, a pansy. Sounds convincing right? Thank you Satan (no attack on her personally XD) .

But then came this thought (ok, this is gonna sound cheesy, but this is how it went). I thought about what kind of person I was. What kind of person I wanted to be. What kind of person I was becoming. I knew if I wanted God's blessings, I needed to be obedient. Even more so, I knew to become the person I wanted it to be, it was little moments like these, when no one else would really know what you did, little choices like these that built people into the heroes I admired. When crunch time came to perform they already proved themselves a thousand times over in a plethora of tiny personal decisions. I wanted to have integrity, even if it was a seemingly insignificant thing. It was a self-conscious evaluation of who I was. I made the decision, and put it away and didn't think of it anymore.

And yay. Moral victory. But wait...this is one of those happy ending stories. hahah.

The next day, there was a devotional by Jon M. Huntsman. His voice was monotone, his talk didn't have any cool stories, his personality wasn't flamboyant, but one thing touched me deeply. He talked about integrity. And halfway through the talk I started to realize that the talk applied to me personally. To me, it was God's way of letting me know I had done the right thing.

But WAIT. it gets BETTER. Yeah, that's right. I'll tell you the story, and you tell me it was coincidence.

At the end of the year, our biology teacher did something unexpected. He told us that if we got a better grade on our Final than our grade in class up to that point it would be replaced by that final grade. I had a C+. I felt I could at least get a B-. so I studied. a lot. And got...

a B-! YES! So it replaced my C+ grade. ..... but that's not all. My teacher then...CURVED the FINAL.... so my Final's grade became a ...get this. 89.6. I was like....."are you seriously kidding me?!?!?" I ended up with an A- that semester in biology (C+ to A- in, basically, one day), a good endorsement from my biology teacher, confidence to do research for the ecology department, a $10000 gift certificate, and backstage passes to all Lights concerts. Ok. Not the last two.

I do understand this doesn't happen all the time. More often than not it ends up with just you knowing what you did. But let me tell you... these little moments take you down a road where you can look back and see how far you've come. I have to say, its worked out so far (Its also worked out winter semester, D+ to A- but that's another story).

So. Don't forget. Integrity. Trust. It matters.

Stronger than Friendship

I beat last year's June texting record by 316 texts. With a collective group effort and massive contributions from various individuals I broke the 3100 set last year by 202 and Katie, and arrived at a sound 3416 texts for March 13th-April 13th. I would like to take this time to thank my mom, my brother, and the peeps from my Chinese class. Thank you. Without you guys, I would never have done this on my own. I now look forward to sometime next year where we can beat the record again. :)

In other news...

... my roommates are awesome. We have all bonded over something that has, time and time again, continued to bring people together. Is it love? No. Is it brotherhood? No. Is it girls? Close. Its Starcraft. That's rights. Its done it again folks. Consider the following exchange.

Me: Austin, what were you talking about?

Austin: Oh, my brother sent me a link to a starcraft 2 beta key.

James: What? You guys play Starcraft?

Austin: Of course, it was like my life in 5th grade.

Me: Yes, in fact, I have it right now in my CD drive.
Austin: I accidentally brought mine.

James: Well, I have it too. And we have LAN. So...

all of us colletively: STARCRAFT PARTY!

And so...a bond was created between men that may last a lifetime. Or at least until we start trash talking each other and kicking each other's butts. I for one, am going to try not having my butt kicked too much.

Austin is a premie and a music major. He seems pretty chill. Always relaxed, always soft-voiced. Kinda like a gentle giant. He's pretty normal except for one thing. He disappears at night for large swaths of moments at a time. He always takes a backpack with him. He's not going to practice his trumpet...because when he does he takes his trumpet case. James says he's witnessed him coming back late at night dressed up as a Crusader.... not like the full gear, but just like a cape here...a gear there. James thinks he might be a larper (which I found out means Live-Action Role-Player...who knew?). But after further consideration, many conversations, and speculation, we've come to the realization that it could only be one thing. He's a superhero. Yes. You heard that right. I mean...the late nights, the cape, the secretiveness, the backpack... it makes sense. Musician by day... SUPERHERO by night. Hopefully, his superhero skills doesn't translate to computer gaming skills.

And James.... what can I say about James? I guess this pretty much sums it up.

(James coming out of his bedroom): I woke up because I sensed people talking about video games without me.

...

:)