Spring Term

So. My parents came up, got my brother and sister, and have returned home now. I never realized how much I enjoy their company. I woke up this morning to an empty house and it was then I realized how much I do love them. Even though they may be crazy sometimes I miss them now and I wish I could have been a better older brother. I could have done so much more.

Spring term is gonna be really different now. For the first time I will not have any roommates or people I live with. i thought I'd be ok but I realized that with all the recent turmoil this might be harder than I thought.

Anyway, I'm changing my diet for Spring. No more fast food (at least, no more than once a week), no more soda, and cutting back on sweets. Gonna beef up on vegetables (haha interesting juxtaposition there), fruits, and fiber. I don't know how much time I'd have to exercise but I want to eat healthier and cut back on all the fat that I've gathered this past year.

Elusive

i'm starting to realize how elusive friendship can be. or maybe it's not that. Maybe it's like what Lights said, that "seems like the more you grow the more time you spend alone, and before you know it you end up perfectly alone". It's been a long time since I've had to listen to "Face Up". Life is hard.

Letter

Sometimes I wish you never left. Or at least told us completely what the reason was for why you abandoned us. And that's what it felt like. And it hurt even more to not know how to stop you from doing it. It was, in all honesty, utterly the most selfish thing you could have done, yet having been in your position I also completely understand that I don't completely understand, and that at a certain point you just don't want to care anymore.

It's weird that you were the one person that I could talk to. More understanding than Mel, more in tune than Hannah, and even more so than Brianne at this moment. Especially at this moment. And these are the nights I miss you the most, when one feels like an island amidst friends and you just want to talk.

You're always in my thoughts and prayers. Wherever you are now I hope God is watching you because I no longer can't.