The Usual Suspects

It's been a difficult semester. My social life has taken a hit due to my laziness and anti-social-ness. I haven't been on a date in over two months, but I just feel reluctant to get back in the groove. But in the end, the truth is that I really have no options right now and I haven't done anything to increase it. Before it just felt like these things came to me, but I have to work for them now and I got lazy. XD

The classes I thought were easy have suddenly piled on at the end and I've been studying nearly non stop for the last two days (not including today) and yet, I still feel vastly unprepared. Usually I don't doubt my own abilities especially when I've studied so hard, but I just don't feel it this time. Too much energy is just gone. It's been good that I've had some support over the last few days, Miranda and Jaymie (who are awesome) on Monday. I studied for about 8 hours total with them. Then yesterday Ha and Brian held me out. Ha was really helpful in teaching me stuff I needed for work, and Brian was awesome in just keeping me company. We even tried studying at Denny's. Aside from the loud teenage kids that happened to be there too (school night too, what were they doing there?), it was actually fun. Brian tried to pick up a girl at the library...whom we later saw at Denny's with a guy. AHA. awkward?

Then today, LightsArmy pulled through. They are all so supportive and nice, even as the drama unfolds somewhat over in Toronto. Most of them are going through finals too so they've been understanding....if not entirely distracting.

Then I got to thinking about next semester and how it will kill me. I'll be even busier than before and I don't know if I'll have the energy to pull through it. I will though that's for sure. It just feels like I'm climbing a cliff now (Finals) to face a bigger mountain soon (next semester). It feels almost insurmountable and overwhelming. I'm already making a mental checklist of things that I will have to do in order to make it. For example, I HAVE to make an effort to be more social. I think it has some sort of impact on my grades.

Even as I think about this, a familiar tune starts playing on my iTunes, almost like an old friend who has been there for me. "Drive my Soul". I guess that's another reason why I love LIGHTS so much. Her songs tell me things I need to hear without me having to explain myself to anyone or without me needing to ask.

Let's do it to it!