On my mission, it was my biggest goal. To be humble. And it was where I finally, FINALLY, learned what humility was because it's not until you reach a certain level of self-respect and self-understanding that you realize what it means to be humble. It isn't until you come to know who you are and be OK with it that you can be humble.
i learned this the hard way on my mission as I struggled to learn how to be a good missionary. My trainer would tell me things I could improve on, but I always took it as condescending and someone thinking they're better than me. I knew they didn't mean it directly, but I thought it was just subtle, maybe even subconscious, and I took it that way.
The one day, in one of those moments where you suddenly see your life differently, my trainer took me into a room to talk and then to pray. And then I as I was praying it hit me.
Humility is the ability to take what someone else is saying and honestly say, without any snideness or self-defeating notions, "You know what? Maybe he's right. Maybe I AM that way. Maybe I DO need to change. Maybe what I've been doing has been wrong all this time. Maybe.... I'm wrong". You see how you need to understand yourself for this to work? There can't be a feeling of "well, let me try it your way and I'll prove you wrong!" or "I hate myself and I suck, everything i do is not right". That's not humility, it's pride in the former, and ...surprisingly, pride in the latter (because you can't have it your way so you hate everything and give up).
It's always a hard thing to do. Whenever someone says something, even as a suggestion, the FIRST thought that enters our minds is retaliation or retreat. Often times it doesn't even occur to us what was said, but rather how it made us feel. It takes practice to find yourself saying "No. Maybe I got to look at this differently and change my ways" and to do it truthfully to yourself.
Wow, very nicely thought out, Steven. And it is funny how pride is also low self-esteem.
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