Believe

My hardest trials are emotional and mental. I don't know why. I would rather prefer physical pain over them, but for some reason God gave me the hardest trials to be emotional and mental.

And honestly, its hard. Life's not without its challenges. Unlike some people, I welcome challenges and intend to dominate them. That's how my mind works. Haha.

Everytime I pray for something I get it. Many of the times, it takes increased energy from myself.

As I was pondering this past weekend, I prayed to Heavenly Father for another favor. I've been asking way too much from Him and I feel ungrateful. But I've also stepped up efforts to be more obedient. Besides, what I ask is not contrary to His will.

But as I pondered the weirdest thought came into my head: "Thanks for believing in Me".
Like almost as if Heavenly Father said it to me. Then, to return the favor, I said, "Thank you for believing in me".

Then the impact of that statement hit me. He believes in me. It had never occurred to me before that that was very true. That even during times when I had given up on myself, when I hated the whole world, or when I just felt like jumping off a cliff, He had still believed in me and He always had. People have said it before, but it wasn't until then that the gravity of that truth hit me.

Then the guilt hit me. "Well, if God believes in me, why would I EVER give up on myself?" I've got the best supporter in the entire galaxy, nay, universe! He BELIEVES in me so much that He sent His own Son to die for me. If that was true, how could I EVER get discouraged? How could I EVER get mad? How could I ever sell MYSELF short? To do so then seemed like utter mockery against God.

The greatest act of faith ever performed was the Atonement. Can you imagine how much faith Jesus and Heavenly Father had in us to do such a thing? Knowing full well that there was a possibility that we could just reject it with our free agency.

So the next time I feel a little low, or like life is unfair, I just think, "hey. There are two people I believe in. Me. And God. And God believes in me". Nobody can stop that combination.