Foundation on Jesus Christ

February 10, 2010

Elder Neil A. Anderson told a story once of a woman who had returned from her mission, married the man of her dreams in the temple, and went on to have a happy family. However, one day out of the blue, and quite suddenly, her husband told her that he did not love her, and had never loved her, and wanted a divorce. Quite quickly, this woman’s world began to unravel. Her distress turned into sadness, and then depression, and closely after, suicidal tendencies. Everything she thought was perfect in life was beginning to fall apart. Everything she had dreamed of was slipping away like sand in her hands. She seemed desperate and on the verge of giving up. A while passed before Elder Anderson saw this woman again, but the next time he saw her she seemed happy. Puzzled by this, Elder Anderson confronted her and asked her what had happened. Had she reconciled her marriage? Had her husband apologized? Quite the contrary. The woman’s husband had indeed gone through with the divorce. And then the woman said something interesting. She explained that after her mission her life had gradually shifted away from being built on the foundation of Christ to having a foundation built on her family. When her family disintegrated, her foundation shattered. When her foundation was crippled, her whole world collapsed. Since then, she had rebuilt her foundation on Christ and was happy again.

Why am I relating this story? Is it to make you apprehensive about your future marriage? Is it to say that family is not important? No. I admire this woman. I admire this woman so much. Her story teaches a very fundamental principle, and that is, we need to build our foundation, indeed, our whole lives, around the Gospel and Atonement of Jesus Christ. Helaman taught this principle simply when he said to his sons,

“And now my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.” Helaman 5:12

I am not saying family is a bad thing. What I am saying is that everything here is temporary. There are things beyond our control. There are things that can be taken from us. However, the one thing that will always stand the test of time, and always be there, is the Gospel and Jesus Christ Himself.

The testing of our foundation comes in the little trials we have in our lives. I would now like to speak quite simply and frankly. I admit, that life for me after the mission has not been easy. Things are not as I had planned upon returning. So many things in my life frustrate me. You guys know what I’m talking about. We have to worry about school, about careers, about finance, about the economy, and especially, here at BYU, about dating. There have been so many times when I’ve wanted to scream and become a hermit far away so I wouldn’t have to deal with the more sour things in life. There have been so many times when I’ve done the right thing, but for some reason or other, I have not received what I thought would be my blessings. There have been so many times when I’ve just wondered aloud, “Why? Why me?” or “Is there just something wrong with me?” There have been times when I’ve prayed so hard for something and it feels like God is silent. There have been wrongdoings, and sufferings, and some of those caused by the very people we thought would at least let us down gently. There have been times when I’ve seen the pain of my friends and pleaded with God to help them, or take their pain away, and many times it seems like nothing happens. In these moments, it is easy to sink into despair and wonder what this is all for and ask, is it worth it?

But let me tell you now. It is. It is worth everything we are fighting for. What we need to remember is this, that our foundation is on Jesus Christ, the One who will never fail us. In this aspect we can be strong knowing that “if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy, if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee” we know that “the Son of Man hath descended below them all”, that He has endured what we have endured, and that we are, ultimately, not alone. (D&C 122:7-8)

This was most clearly demonstrated to me on my mission. I taught a wonderful family whose husband was not a member. The wife was pregnant again and already had two previous miscarriages. She told us how she was so sure that this baby was going to go through and as my companion and I taught her we were also caught up in their joy and their hope. Then one day came the phone call, that the woman had had a miscarriage. I was shocked, then devastated, and finally, worried. I was scared that this latest setback would curb the husband’s faith and that they would no longer want to take the lessons from us. After all, how can God do this to them when they were doing the right thing and coming unto Christ?

Apprehensively, my companion and I went to the hospital to visit the lady and her husband. I sat there not knowing how best to comfort them. I had never had children, and had never experienced anything like this before. Gradually, I asked her how she was feeling. Her response was uplifting, and filled with faith that far outshone mine. She said something along the lines of, “I don’t know why God has done this. Perhaps there is a reason that we don’t know. I know I will see my child again, but I have not lost faith in God”. Her husband echoed the same sentiment. Amidst my own fear and lack of faith, this couple’s strength and foundation in Christ took them through this crisis. We sang “How Great Thou Art” together and I couldn’t help but cry because I realized both how strong they were and how weak I was.

I hope none of us will have to go through that experience or anything similar to that. But I have witnessed first hand the miracle of the Atonement, and how a strong foundation in Christ has carried people through crisis and trials in their life.

I know our own trials, while compared to this couple that I taught may be small, is of our own importance to us. We may say, “well that’s them, and this is me” or feel the seemingly more significant weight of our own challenges because it is more real to us. Everyone faces different trials. I just talked to a friend recently who told me she was unsure of what the future held for her career wise and that she may want to delay graduation to await the economy to get better.

We have suffered uncertainty, and certainly heartbreaks. I think we go through this the most as college students. I know I do. The agony of searching for dates, and getting rejected, and being considered unwanted is sometimes too much for me to handle. I often say, “I want to do what’s right. Its not like I want to kill someone. I just want to marry and move forward. How come this is so difficult?” In times like these I think its wise to take a step back and remember what Jesus said.

“Lay not for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal.: but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

In our search for someone, we need to remember that our goal is heaven and not just to get married. If our ultimate objective, our treasure, is the celestial kingdom, no one can rob us of that goal. And if that is our goal, our hearts will be there where no one can corrupt, or rust, or most importantly right now, break.

And finally, one last thing about pressing forward with that foundation in Christ.

When things seem unbearable, and our world crashes, we should remember not to get too careless into thinking just about ourselves. I think this is best illustrated with a poem I found in the New Era on my mission and it is one of my favorites.

When the end of the day is just ahead,
And there’s still not time for you,
Just remember these four words:
Somebody had it harder.

When the night is cold and the air is still,
Your only friend’s the silent moon,
Just repeat: “Be not afraid.”
Somebody had it harder.

When you’ve run away to find yourself,
And all you have to show is a tired body,
Someone ran just as far;
Somebody had it harder.

He bled and sighed as they raised Him high;
For our sins He was a martyr.
No one who has ever lived
Has had it any harder.

Frank Preston, “Somebody Had It Harder,” New Era, Nov 2003, 33

I know that God lives because of the love I have felt and the prayers He has answered. I know that even if friends betray us, family fall away, and there is “change and decay in all around I see” (Abide With Me, Hymn 166), there is my Redeemer who knows what I am going through, and who knows what you are going through. He is the one who changes not. I pray that He will abide with you as He has with me.