However, I realize that I still possess so many of the same weaknesses as last year. I am still the same person who makes stupid mistakes and lets pride get in the way.
Today it just wore me out, and too many events went awry because of my own actions. I think I have some repenting to do. Its been a while since I've felt Godly sorrow, felt the disappointment of Heavenly Father, and felt despair. Its not depression. But despair from realizing you willingly did something wrong and that you now see the consequences of how wickedness never was happiness. You feel desperate to regain the appropriate footing with the Spirit and to be in good standing with God. Its like the miserable feeling you get when you realized you disappointed your parents in a way you didn't imagine, but worst of all, that sinking feeling you get because you had initially done it intentionally yet hadn't realized the disastrous consequences.
Its been a humbling experience, with opportunity to step up again. I think I may also have confused someone in the process and damaged a friendship. Here's to climbing the road back to appropriate footing.
Just so you know. Even when you may have your imperfections and even though you make mistakes like everyone does. You are still awesome, and you still inspire me in all the things you ever say. Thanks, Steven.
ReplyDeleteYou are like a brother to me :)
Once again, good luck! haha.
ReplyDeleteI don't like that feeling
just be u, the one that Heavenly father created! Pick up the experience after mistake and don't stunble on the same spot! Even so, like u say; repent!
ReplyDeleteAre you saying that last year you had more drama because of 202? Hmmmm? :)
ReplyDeleteI love you Steven. You're the greatest. Don't forget it.