ReCap October

1. Spiritual Amendment

read the scriptures everyday - 23-8 (total since September 8th: 40-13)
attend Church every week - check
pray daily - check

2. Grades -
straight A's
- not quite there yet. PDBio and Finance are kinda dragging me down... GPA avg. 3.0 +

3. Health -
follow health plan
FAIL. ARGH. I ate out so much. My exercise level increased, but not enough to offset increase calorie intake. However, physically I feel good, I like what I'm eating, and I feel fine. XD

4. Dancing -
improve
Great!! The chance to dance in the Homecoming Parade, to choreograph a little bit, and more experience has helped me greatly.

5. Dating -
at least once a month
Check. I don't know exactly where I want to go with this one. Anyway...

6. Temple -
at least once a month
Check. LOVE the temple.

Interesting Observation

The last four girls I dated or went on a date with were all from California and all the Asian girls were Korean.

Do I just have a preference for Californians? Do I just scare Chinese people? I dunno. I'm still kinda scared of Utah girls. haha

NBA

The NBA started today. The last piece to my semester is complete. :)

Plus, choreographed for Club Style. Just for 8 beats. It didn't go so good. At least, it was done in 20 minutes without knowing what the music was. XD haha.

Lessons from Church

10/18

. I think one of the most important skills I have acquired is the ability to do a self-assessment, then to cut out the things I don't need, keep the things that are good, and improve everywhere.

. Teaching is such an important skill. You learn so much through teaching, become self-aware, and gain important skills and traits such as charity, patience, and self-assessment.

. I love hard work. It is such a good antidote to the many problems in our lioves be it loneliness, sadness, hearbreak, laziness, boredom, problems with self-worth, esteem, confidence, depression, or many other assortments of emotional trials.

. To be financially and spiritually self-reliant is to make room and prepare to serve others.

10/25

. I am so grateful for the opportunity to have associated with my converts from serving a mission, many of whom are so much better than I. I am so grateful to know them, to be part of their lives, and to be an instrument of God. How truly great is my pure joy in this!

No greater indicator

Homecoming week. CRAZY.

The homecoming devotional was fun. Cate got us front row seats. THAT was awesome. Saw Mendenhall, and Cecil. Up close. Felt like VIP. hahaha. The lunch afterwards was worth it. Especially because we made a new friend named Tyler who was only 17 and who was...kinda weird. That's coming from me. haha.

Wednesday was our Chinese group study session. As usual....we got nothing done. We ate for an hour, talked....and talked....and talked...and talked.... and total combine study time? probably no more than 10 minutes. HA. What did result from this study session? Well, Monday, Cate and I are gonna pull a prank on our TA by pretending to be boyfriend/girlfriend. She was the one trying to set up people in class. Let's see what happens when it comes true. LOL

Gosh, our group loves each other's company too much. We just talk and talk and talk.

Thursday, ended up sweeping leaves for Provo cemetary. That was fun. Circle K is a great outlet for my service needs.

Friday, took the Chinese test, wrote a note to Shalise (glad to have made her day). Got one from Cate. aw yeah. Did our skits. All of them were pretty much amazing.

Went to the canon center with Lucia, then went with her to Homecoming Spectacular. That was awesome!! The music was GREEEAAT!! I loved it so much.

Saturday morning, got to run around with Club Style at the homecoming parade. I think I missed seeing Shalise there. But saw Robbie King, Sunshine, and some others. That was fun. Especially when the girls danced up on the cops. LOL.

Came home. Went to a baptism at 2. I didn't know the person, but I decided to go. TURNS OUT, the person baptized was a sister to one of my converts. CUH_RAZY!!!!!! Yeah. That was fun.

Went and hung out with Mike and Luke for a moment, then came home, and played some basketball.

To top it all off, I got a letter from Liz today. w00t.


YEah. what a week. And its not over yet. ...

Self-Protection

So. I think my praying for opportunities of service is landing me bigger and bigger chances to prove myself. Today, I found a cellphone and texted some people in it to find the owner. Met with them about an hour later. They looked so cute, like 3 little kids creeping up to a celebrity to get his autograph. Just huddled and hesitant. I shoulda put my number into her phone. Oh boy, that would have been gutsy but I would have done it had I thought of it sooner. XD

Anyway, I'm starting to realize a bad habit of mine. I tend to push away the people I love the most. When this is family, I close up about my feelings to them, sometimes because I don't want to burden them and sometimes because I actually want them to care. With girls that I'm interested in, it creates a problem because as soon as I feel close enough to them that I feel they could hurt me emotionally, I distance myself. This creates an odd cycle of an awkward relationship. This is my problem right now. And I think the girl I'm doing this to is getting frustrated with my behavior and I'm noticing it by her body language. Maybe she can just get a boyfriend so I can move on. HAHA.

What goes around comes around

So. My social life continues to tick back up to what it was formerly. However, I also realized that the near one month social drought has to be seen as another challenge Heavenly Father gave me.

I mean, it never occurs to me that these hard times are just like the challenges I faced on the mission. It never occurs to me that sometimes, God allows different challenges to come at me from different directions. But then I realized, "hey, if God loves me enough and trusts me enough to give me this challenge, then bring it on!!!" I LOVE challenges. And from that view, I can take it.

Except...now that I am going to overcome it, God will allow something new to come at me. ...and then I'll wallow around a bit before I come to the solution.

But I think its funny how that part of my rescuing of my social life is being done by my converts and their friends. I have 4 of them in my ward. And they are awesome. I love them so much. I love seeing them grow.

Today, one of them was telling everyone that I was the missionary who taught her, and another girl was like "oh! and he's Shan's missionary too!" and I'm like "you guys really do love me!" haha.

But yeah. I think its such a great joy. I love it. Love it.

Friday Night

So. With me new infused plan in life I spent my Friday night....not going out. XD

mostly because I've renewed my work ethic. Something that's noticeably lacking since I've gotten off the mission. However, with the recent decline in my social life I've decided that I will now pour all that time into becoming something else. My social life will continue to climb back into prominence (especially after I read how I actually did it freshman year), but until then I'm reenergized in a different area.

OK. So what did I do tonight? Studied. Yeah. I studied Biology. If I'm going to smash and destroy everyone at BYU and rip their grades to shreds its going to take sacrifice. Haha. So I don't care so much that my friday night social life is dead. As long as I get ahead of everyone else.

I also completed two resumes to submit to jobs and internships as I'm ready to steer in that direction. I also need a job to start investing in stocks and bonds.

And finally, I created a budget on how I will survive on the money I have left over the next two months.

Yeah. So...sounds boring. But I liked it. haha.

Service!

So. Last night, being extremely tired, I wondered whether I should go and do service with Circle K.

I decided, since I'm more service-oriented everyday and I pray for those opportunities, I would go. Even though I was tired, beaten, and still had Club Style later that night.

Anyway. I did. And I must say that I'm glad I did. We went to the Trinity health rehab place, and I got to play piano for them. It was a good experience.

Natalie is also in Club Style so that was a fun experience as we set routines for the homecoming parade.

Kelsi suggested that I be Rufio for Halloween. I am considering it, since I got the hair for it. But I don't have the tan. Angie said she wouldn't have thought I was pale. Of course, she's paler than I am. haha.

Anyway. I think I will go zombie. Since that's what I'm obsessed about. But if I go to Lights concert I dunno exactly if that will be a good idea. I don't know who is actually going to go so I haven't bought any tickets yet. Mike is unsure. So I will probably ask someone to go with me.

BEST pictures of 2008-2009

SLI

In other news, experts are hoping that the rise in the social slump over the last few days is an indicator of a full recovery, as the SLI moved up a few more points and finally broke 500; the first time in nearly a month and a half.

Experts are hoping that a full recovery is right around the corner and that the social recession does not turn into a social depression saying that the rise is a good indicator of things to come.

Revenge

Reading 3 Nephi 3 and listening to Giddianhi's letter is disgusting.

In it, Giddianhi, leader of the Gadianton robbers, claims that the people of Nephi have robbed them of their rightful place to government. He goes on to invite Lachoneus, leader of the Nephites, to join them in their secret works and become brothers with them. How is that for sounding contradictory? And how can you claim to be in the right when you operate through secret works?

THEN, Giddianhi threatens to destroy the Nephites if they don't comply. Haha. Yeah, like "Hey, we love you , come join us. But if you don't, we kill you". They sound very righteous. haha.

As I read this, I thought of how Satan tries to get us on his side first by peer pressure, then persuasion, and then by threats paralleling Giddianhi's tactics.

But I also realize that Satan gets us by turning us against God. Satan can threaten us by becoming mad and bitter against us, but more often he gets US to become mad and bitter and to threaten God.

Sometimes, when things don't get right, people can threaten God that they will leave the Church, or sin, or do something stupid in order to hurt God. Revenge basically in the name of love and attention. The people may truly be hurt, but they don't realize their childish revenge tactics don't do anything but hurt themselves.

Tender Mercies

First of all, I'd like to say how grateful I am for the Lord's tender mercies. As I've gone through life's trials, and especially going through the mission, I've realized how much the Lord loves me because He gives me trials. I've come to the point where if I'm feeling particularly sucky, or stressed, or overwhelmed, I just sit back, be humble, and try to figure out what I need to learn, and/ or try and wait it out. I love challenges in a weird way. It makes me a better person by far. Still, its not easy to have to go through them.

My curse and blessing is that because I really do love people, and so my greatest trials come from relationships. But the Lord always manages to cheer me up and give me a ray of sunshine admist the storm often through someone else, whether an old friend that just felt like randomly texting me, or strangers saying hi and being friendly. I'm ever grateful for these little things and its amazing how strong and powerful they can in changing my mood.

Today.

Happy moment of the day: A lady walked by and said, "good morning" to me. I feel bad because I had my earphones on, caught her only because i saw her mouth moving, and only managed a "hey". for some reason, that set the tone for the day, and I was just so happy. haha


HAve I done any good in the world today? Gave Theo a ride to the t-mobile store. yeah1

Annoyed

Why do some girls ask you for your phone number and then never do anything with it? annoying.

Quiet

i'm not yours, and you're not mine,
but we can sit, and pass the time.
No fighting wars, no ringing chimes,
we're just feeling fine.

This is where we're supposed to be,
sitting by the broken tree.
No tragedy, no poetry,
just staring at the sky.

I can wait a thousand hours,
stay the same, in sun and showers,
pick apart a hundred flowers,

just to be quiet.

Tell me when you feel ready,
I'm the one, there's not too many,
hold my hand, to keep me steady.

Just to be quiet,

with you-oo-oo
with you-oo-oo



Click it here, beside you dear,
you're even more than you appear.
And in the clouds, my head is clear
every time you say hello.

Here's my heart, and here's my mouth,
and I can't help if things come out.
Cause there are words I want to shout,
maybe I'll stay low.

I can wait a thousand hours,
stay the same, in sun and showers,
pick apart a hundred flowers,

just to be quiet.

Tell me when you feel ready,
I'm the one, there's not too many,
hold my hand, to keep me steady.

Just to be quiet,

with you-oo-oo
with you-oo-oo



- Lights